dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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