She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
