why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
