I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
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You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
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As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Success! We fucked roommates!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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