why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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