You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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