The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
