sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
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If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
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I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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