I smell stomach acid.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm just crazy horny about you
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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