He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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