Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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