yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so let's talk penis.
Sober January is a disaster.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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