"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
