so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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