people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My bed smells like the plague
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
