Already got asked if we're dating
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
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Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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