we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
