just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
