I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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