ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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