you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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