Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
