Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
