thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize