Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
