omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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