Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
