just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It was confusing and full of hummus
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
