Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize