She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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