is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
