oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
