just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
