you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
