Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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