seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
