Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
