I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
