Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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