I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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