You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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