it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's official drugs can't kill me
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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