Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
