what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
