i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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