Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
