I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize