Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
