(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
