And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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