i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
