Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
