i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize