I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
