It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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