Nicole vs. Life
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
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I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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