Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
